On Friday, March 17, 2006, I nervously sent out my first email soliciting material for future publication on IrkedMagazine.com. The message was addressed to a homeless man in New England, a blogger living on the streets who writes and publishes his work by logging into public computers at his local library.
I was getting in touch to request his permission to reprint three extraordinary essays he’d written—three hauntingly beautiful, and ferocious, pieces. I chose those particular essays because they did an excellent job explaining how backbreaking and hellish and depleting it is to be homeless, sentiments I’ve since heard reiterated over and over again.
I told him that we’d be honoured to run his bio and photo alongside the essays, and that we’d of course also link to his wonderful blog.
Seven hours later, I received a response.
Excited and relieved to have received my first Irked reply, I clicked on his message and read it:
Dear Sacha,
Just so you know, this is the only current e-mail address for me these
days, the other two are ones I no longer use and, as such, have been
defunct for quite some time now.
As far as your inquiry concerning your publishing the three columns you
identified, thank you for asking, however my answer is no.
Welcome to Irked Magazine’s milestone fifth issue. The road to today has been so very long and winding, and this special occasion has me feeling a tad sentimental, and extremely thankful to be here. I must admit that I never thought we’d even make it this far.
Shortly after my first rejection letter arrived, I was fortunate enough to receive my first acceptance!!
Dear Sacha:
I am honored by your request, and I thank you for your kind words. Of course you can use the material you listed.
“Irked” sounds so very fascinating. Can't wait to see the first issue. Now, this means I am a subscriber, too, right?…
Please stay in contact. I would love to be an ongoing contributor.
*Note: David DID become an ongoing contributor, and since Day One he’s been a true friend to Irked Magazine! Read his work here, here, here, and here. And read a glowing four-star review of David’s new book here.
In our last issue, we ran an absolutely terrific—and somewhat spine-chilling—essay by Anya Peters titled The Cold War. The essay’s about the many months that Anya spent living jobless, homeless, and alone in a car at the edge of the woods. We featured her essay in our “Bum Deal” section (dedicated to publishing homeless writers) and labeled the piece a “Staff Pick.” Anya’s essay on Irked attracted a phenomenal amount of hits, as did an open letter we published called Sad Hearts Dressed in Old Clothes—which was addressed to homeless people everywhere, and written by 11-year-old Hannah Taylor, who is often referred to as “Canada’s youngest advocate for the homeless.”
In fact, the homeless-related content that we’ve run has received so much positive feedback that we’ve decided to publish more. A lot more.
One of the themes in our 5th issue is most assuredly homelessness.
—Lee Stringer has long been one of my literary idols, ever since I read his resplendent and overwhelmingly-moving book Grand Central Winter: Stories from the Street in my first year of college. And now Irked is proud to bring you Stairwell Standoff, an essay about “living rough” that will give you goose bumps.
—Canadian journalist Susan Scott, a former Calgary Herald reporter, recently published an incredible book called All Our Sisters: Stories of Homeless Women in Canada. She is a truly gifted writer, and the pages of her book are filled with dignity and mercy and hope and sisterhood and fellowship and love. Read about Barb and Melissa by clicking here.
—Tony lives on the streets of Toronto. And Tony has so much to say. His blog is called Homeless Man Speaks. Meet Tony the Street Blogger.
—Mel Young is recognized as one of the world’s leading social entrepreneurs. He’s a trailblazer in every which way. He’s also the President and Co-founder of the Homeless World Cup, a world-wide sports competition that is changing the way “the game” is played. This is one story you won’t wanna miss. Click here to read about Kicking Off Homelessness.
And it doesn't stop there. Irked's fifth issue is 32 flavours and then some. A Heinz 57 of imagination. A delectable bowl of mixed nuts. A veritable kit and caboodle of awesomeness.
There’s an old, somewhat apocryphal, story that goes something like this: Emma Goldman, the famous feminist and anarchist, was having a nice time at a party when she was taken aside by a young revolutionary who told her that he had not become an agitator to dance.
The experience prompted “Red Emma” to remark: “If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution.”
Now, I’ll admit to having two left feet (might be why I’m so gauche)…but if you read between the lines you’ll see that Emma Goldman wasn’t really talking about dancing. She was talking about “dancing.” She was talking about being free.
Irked’s latest issue is all about “dancing”—although there is nary a word in it about dancing, per se. It’s about being free. And it’s about finding lighthearted ways to discuss entirely unfunny subjects, so that they are…digestible.
Because they are subjects that need discussing.
I’m pretty sure that the philosopher Bertrand Russell was also talking about the importance of “dancing” when he said that “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
Irked Magazine began as a way for me to “find myself,” and distract myself. I was just looking for something to do until my agoraphobia went away and I got well enough to try my luck at a Real Job. Since Irked was born, the amazing feedback we’ve gotten from readers and the inspiring contributions we’ve published by artists have shown me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is a “real” job. One of the most important ones I’ve ever had. Irked’s strength is that it takes stories that are being whispered about and screams them from the rooftops. But don’t take my word for it. Have a look around our website and judge for yourself.
Get acquainted with some of the overwhelmingly moving and beautiful art produced by our extraordinary team of contributors. Read their words. Hear their wisdom. Try to see what they see, because it’s very worth seeing.
I also hope that you’re able to get a glimpse of what I see in them. Their courage. Their strength. Their humanity. Their mirth.
But most of all, I love how they…“dance.”
To quote LA Crompton, a wonderful poet and artist whose writing appears throughout our current issue:
They are remarkable
posing as ordinary
instead of the other
way around
And in them
I see
the true
face of beauty
If you are reading this, I’d just like to say thank you for being here. Thank you for paying attention, and thank you for being part of the very unfinished journey that is Irked Magazine.
Keep dancing, keep agitating, keep discussing, and keep insisting on being free—whatever that means to you.
It’s too important. And life’s too short. And you are so, so worth it.
Kurt Vonnegut once said: “When it comes to online magazines, Irked does it right!”
Ok, I’m lying…he never said that. Which is really too bad, because it is the perfect occasion for such a quote.
We’ve just updated our website in a major way, and the next issue has arrived!
Unlike other online magazines, Irked is now printed on 100% recycled paper. Also, I’m proud to declare that our magazine contains absolutely no trans fatty acids.
But seriously, folks: The new issue features lots of truly extraordinary (and courageous, thought-provoking, wry, merciful, edgy, and beautiful) art.
Remember to check out our Spotlight, Departments, and Themes sections, because there’s new content in all three. Also, we’ve added a section called “Bulletin Board,” which will highlight new Irked projects that we’re currently developing. Right now we’re unveiling Irked Radio (along with our first 24/7 streaming music station), the Irked Ad Village, Quirked for Kids (a new magazine run entirely by children), and the Irked Street Vendor Program.
We’ve also added a function on our homepage that allows people to see a new “Thought of the Week” just by refreshing their browser. (Hmmm, I suppose it’s no longer a Thought of the Week then, is it…?)
Today my heart is filled with joy and with gratitude. Our community is growing, and our web is spreading, and more and more people are joining Planet Irked everyday.
John Fowles once pointed out that “We all write poems; it is simply that poets are the ones who write in words.”
I am noticing that since I’ve begun looking for poets, poets are all I can find.
Ask, and ye shall receive.
Now more than ever I believe that in each of us lies an artist, and in each of us lies a story that is dying to be told.
We improve when we pay attention to each other. This I know for sure.
Boy-oh-boy, this is even worse than the library books I borrowed five years ago and never returned!
This ed’s update is way, WAY overdue. Sorry guys. It’s been a bananas little while.
That being said, please rest assured that lots is happening behind the scenes. We’re hard at work on our next issue, and at the risk of tooting our own horns…
…it’s going to be AMAZZZZZZING!
Y’all can look forward to a wide diversity of new pieces, including videos that will bowl you over, essays, photo essays, songs, more great prize giveaways, and several new one-of-a-kind Irked initiatives that we’ll be unveiling!
A few cool things to tell you:
Irked has once again been featured in a big newspaper! Lezlie Lowe just wrote a really great article about Irked for The Coast, which is Halifax’s weekly newspaper. The Coast is an awesome paper, and Lezlie made the whole interview process entirely painless! Check out the article here. Check out The Coast here.
Paul Aflalo has just finished work on a new music video for Québec chanteuse Sophie Young. The video has just hit YouTube, and it’s unbelievablistically awesomtastic! Check out the video below…
I got an offer recently from an editor at BBC Ouch! to write an article about my experiences trying to start smoking (to self-treat my anxiety and irritable bowel syndrome, etc) in an age where every sane human being on the planet is trying to QUIT. It was an odd request, but it’s a bona fide writing credit...so I couldn’t refuse. (And besides, it’s the BBC!) Check out the article here.
I’ve recently been invited to join HuffIt, a new initiative by The Huffington Post that lets you decide which news stories should get the most attention. Basically, I can submit and select news from anywhere in the world and the most popular stories will appear on the front of the Huffington Post, which is read by, like, a gazillion people. It’s still in beta mode, but I think it’s going to be an incredibly cool project. Check out my personal picks here.
Since our launch in September, we’ve had thousands and thousands of people visit Irked, and received dozens of emails full of encouragement and thanks. I promise you that the second issue will be just as powerful, just as interesting, just as funny, and most importantly, just as “Irked” as the first. (If not more so!)
Keep your eyes peeled for our next issue. We expect it out by mid-winter, and we swear it’ll be worth the wait.
In the year-and-a-half that I’ve been working on Irked Magazine, I like to think I’ve grown.
As a person, I mean, not taller.
At first, “starting my own magazine” was just a dream, and a distraction—something to do until I was well enough to get a “real job,” at a school or a library or a newspaper or a corporation…y’know, something outside of my home.
At the time, I was surviving intermittent, agonizingly dark bouts of depression and anxiety, and enduring increasingly frequent, soul-sucking panic attacks.
But then, over time, Irked Magazine took on a life of its own. What used to be my “distraction” became my entire focus. It became a concept that touched people, a lifeline for others like me (who no one wanted to listen to). And, most importantly, it became a plausible project. I started to think: “Oh crap, this might actually happen!” And before we knew it, Irked had an interactive “Coming Soon” page, was profiled in The Montreal Gazette, and received incredible submissions and words of support from all kinds of people. People from different countries, with different problems and different successes, who all saw something special in our simple idea: that people improve when they know someone is paying attention.
As for me, by reaching out for help, and by surrounding myself with some truly phenomenal people, I feel I have grown about ten feet taller. By standing on the shoulders of giants, I was able to get a better view. And what I’ve seen has changed me forever…
Heroes. I’ve met heroes. People who have courage, and humanity, and dignity, and perseverance, and unbelievable stories to tell.
Friends. I’ve met friends.
As David Roche, one of the remarkable artists whose work will soon become familiar to Irked’s readers, writes:
“I have had to learn to find my own inner beauty and power. What seemed to be my ‘flaws’ have been revealed as a wonderful source of strength.”
Don’tcha see, don’tcha get it? It’s so simple. Our flaws are our gifts.
We are not just a “Prozac Nation”…we are Bards of the Benzodiazepines. We are not just “disabled”…we are Wheelchairmen of the Board (and Attention Defistresses, and Slysdexics, and…).
I have finally learned that I am not just an “agoraphobe”…I’m a Wandering Agoraphobe!
And we are not just irked…we are also ready to speak.
Welcome to Irked Magazine’s long-anticipated first issue. We are so glad to have ya.
Have a look around, get comfy, stay awhile.
The place is here, the time is now. Stand and be counted. And enjoy.
p.s. Just because our first issue is up and running, it doesn’t mean that we no longer need your active involvement! The following is a list of things we need immediate help with:
As always, and ongoingly, we need (and want!) lots and lots of artistic contributors telling their own stories (articles, audio clips, videos, paintings, drawings, lite-brite, etch-a-sketch, etc… submit ideas or questions here)
We are still looking to hire a new web programmer, who’ll work from home (see Job Opportunities page)
We are in need of Personal Scholarships sponsored by individuals and/or members of the business community
Testimonials—If you like what Irked Magazine is trying to accomplish, and if you are affiliated with a socially-conscious project/school/business/charity/organization/think tank, etc., we’d LOVE to run your encouraging quote on our Testimonials page! Drop us a line…
Advertisers/Sponsors—If you’d like your business/product to be seen by thousands and thousands of hungry people, check out our Advertising Guidelines, and then email me.
We would still like all kinds of photographers to send us their “Irked photos” (see photo contest rules)
And of course, as always, please feel completely free to make a small donation. (Note: we finally have a P.O. box where cheques can be sent – see the donation page for the address!)
Here, at last, are the winners of Irked Magazine’s “What You’d Ask Oprah For If You Met Her In An Elevator” contest.
We received some very creative/intelligent/touching/hilarious/impressive submissions, from people of all walks of life, and we would like to thank everyone who entered from the bottom of our hearts.
It is my honor and privilege to announce our winners:
3rd place goes to Louise Timmons, who wins a gift certificate to any Chapters-Indigo bookstore:
Dear Oprah,
I have been agoraphobic for 37 years and I cannot even imagine a day without anxiety or panic or stress. The thing I've learned over these years is that you have to take one day at a time. I also believe very strongly, because of myself and everyone I know who is agoraphobic, that a lot of it, if not all, is caused by a 'lack' of self-esteem.
I went from a 'normal' person to an 'anxiety-stricken' person, to a totally housebound person and now I feel that I have come as far as I can. I am holding down a good job, have good friends, family, great children and grand-children, good husband and somewhat of a social life.
If you could grant me one wish, that would be to tell my story and try to help even one person from becoming an agoraphobic. This is such a debilitating disease that I don't wish this on my worst enemy and to help even one person would be something.
Thank you
Louise Timmons
2nd place goes to Thérèse, who wins two hardcover books and a CD.
What would I ask Oprah for if I met her in an elevator? Knowing that it is in her power to grant my wish if only my words could touch her. This is truly cause for serious deliberation. Perhaps a family sit-down to determine what we all think would most benefit us. A new mortgage free home perhaps? A car? A once-in-a-lifetime family trip to Hawaii? These are all things my family could really benefit from and enjoy. But I digress. The answer is quite simple really. To make me well. To provide me with a behavioralist that could work with me to get me outside and away from my home without the help of anxiety medication. Someone who could give me my life back. I've missed so much already because of my agoraphobia. Chances to go places and do things with my husband and children. I'm so tired and sad from making excuses and putting things off..."we'll see" is my way of avoiding saying no outright. How I long to be able to leave this house and just go for a walk without having to wait for my meds to kick in and calm me down sufficiently. To be free. To be able to walk out the door whenever I want. Wow! That would truly be a miracle. But what do we live for if not for our hopes and dreams?
Thérèse
1st place goes to Julia S., who wins $50…redeemable at any place that takes cash!
What in the world would I ask Oprah for if I met her in an elevator? I thought this would be easy to answer, since itsounds like a silly question…but it turns out that it's actually the kind of question that can make a person crazy.
Would I ask for a million dollars (to buy me some happiness)? Would I ask for a year's worth of food (to fill my children's tummies)? Would I ask for ten thousand roses (to make my neighbourhood smell sweet)? Would I ask for an extreme makeover (to reshape my old nose)? Would I ask for an all inclusive vacation (to shake the dust off these feet)?
Or would I ask for nothing but advice?
She's single-handedly gained control of an entire country. She might as well be the first black, female president. She can put her face on the cover of every single issue of her own magazine if she wants to! She can make or break careers. She can sway a national vote in one direction or the other (which she has so far been too discreet to do). She can make dreams come true, and nightmares too, I'm sure.
So, I guess she could probably share some of her wisdom with me too. I think I'd ask her: "how?" Just like that… "How?"
And maybe, if I was really lucky, she'd clue me in on all the secrets of her success. Maybe she'd tell me how to make a million dollars to buy the food, the roses, the new nose and the vacation. And maybe, if I was even luckier, I'd actually pay attention and learn something.
I know this submission stinks of "give a child a fish, and they eat for a day…but teach a child to fish, and they eat for life" plagiarism, but this is what I came up with when I searched my soul.
Julia S.
An Honourable Mention, along with a free copy of Sacha Vais’ eBooka boy named sach: notes from an agoraphobic front, goes to our Runner up, Cathy Conrad of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. Cathy implored Oprah to buy her and her family their first new car!
Winners are being contacted, and prizes sent out.
Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who participated in our silly little Oprah Contest! Way more contests coming soooooon…!
Also, a GIANT thank you to everyone who emailed/telephoned/sent flowers/carrier pigeoned/etch-a-sketched, etc. after Irked was profiled in The Montreal Gazette. Your well-wishes and your encouragement and your love have motivated and touched me beyond belief. You have truly made me feel that there are others like me out there, that I am not alone.
So thanks. A lot.
Gotta go continue working on Irked’s first issue (slated to launch later this Summer)!
In the past month or so, we’ve amassed dozens of brave and brilliant contributions from people of all walks of life…and whose work will blow your mind!)
The first issue is going to be great.
But we’re always looking for more contributions, so don’t be shy and submit yours right away!
As a teaser, here are the names of some of our “themes” (i.e. general subjects under which contributions will be grouped):
1. Wheelchairman of the Board
2. The Attention Defistress
3. Bard of the Benzodiazepines
4. Bum Deal
5. Tumour Humour
6. Slysdexia
7. mePod
We’re also going to have an amazing “Spotlight” section, where we’ll feature an exciting assortment of written and multimedia pieces.
And that’s only the beginning…
Lastly, but not at all leastly, Irked has been featured in The Montreal Gazette. Since the article came out (this morning), emails and calls have been flooding in, and Irked has received a lot of encouragement. We thank Donna Nebenzahl, and all our wellwishers, from the bottoms of our hearts.
We at Irked are all very thrilled by the exposure and validation that this article has given us!
Read the article here. (Or, if you’d like to see a huge colour picture of me and my dog Walden sitting on a dock, pick up a copy of today’s Gazette!!! We’re on page D1, and there’s even a teaser on page A1!)
Congratulations to “Murphy” (who preferred to remain anonymous) for winning our first Irked Hidden Hotspot Contest! He correctly identified the four hotspots as:
The word cameras in "film for our cameras…,” Donate page.
Humiliatingly enough for us…Murphy also wrote:
For future reference, when making such contests, scramble the file names. The consecutive and obvious page denominations are easily discovered in the page source of any hotspot (hotspot_1.htm, hotspot_2.htm, etc). As well, a deft computerist will control+f "hot" in the page source, defeating your purpose (which I assume is to expose users to your website's content.)
The world is not entirely comprised of honest players, I'm afraid.
Until next time,
~Murphy
Ooops! We admit, Murph, you outsmarted us! Way to go, thanks for playing, and enjoy your prize!
(Note: Murphy chose the CD North Sound: Harmonizing Nature with Music (Ken Davis: Early Morning in the Rain Forest) as his prize. He was such a good sport that he wanted to forego his prize and leave it for an “honest runner-up,” but we thought that anyone brilliant enough to control+f our page source deserved it!)
More exciting things coming soon…keep your eyes peeled!
Sorry it's been so long since we've updated you. Rest assured that, despite our long silences, we are working non-stop on getting Irked off the ground.
A few things to tell you:
Our new homepage has finally been designed, and it looks a-MAY-zing (if we do say so ourselves!). We're still looking at (and hoping for) a summer '06 launch (keep your fingers crossed).
As we told you in our last update, we've been working on a short Welcome-to-our-site video. That project had to be put on hold for a bit, because our resident filmmaker, Paul Aflalo, has been busy shooting a “documentary musical” for one of his film classes (which was also selected as part of the CBC/National Film Board DocShop 2006 initiative), but we're back on track, and scouting a location to shoot it, and hope to have it finished soon. (FYI: I have no idea what a “documentary musical” is. But then again, Paul is crazy! Email Paul with questions here.)
We've recently made our Donate page brighter, and cheerier, and more fun. We are hoping the pretty colours will hypnotize people into bequeathing us large sums of money! Thanks to Leah Nemiroff for the cool new design.
New contest news: We have added four Hidden Hotspots to our site. (Note: hotspots are clickable sections of an image which function as hyperlinks.) The first one to find all four and send me an email proving it wins a free CD and a mention in our next Editor's Update! Send emails to sacha@irkedmagazine.com.
I've written a short author's note, addressed to potential buyers of my new book (a boy named sach: notes from an agoraphobic front, $6). If you're interested in reading it, it's available on our merchandise page, or you can just click here.
Incredibly exciting news: Hal Newman, the guy who called Irked “a creative waterless brain sani-cleaner for pent-up anger” and the editor of the irrepressible Big Medicine, has graciously asked me to write a regular column for his site. After hyperventilating and pacing for about three days, I accepted the job. Read my column here.
Potentially exciting news: Over the past month or so, Donna Nebenzahl, a columnist and feature writer at The Montreal Gazette and the author of a wonderful coffee table book, has been interviewing us, and is considering writing an article on Irked. It is testament to her dedication to her craft, and to her humanity, that she has been letting this ol' agoraphobe conduct his interview via email.
Somehow, although we haven't done any advertising yet, we've been getting a pretty steady flow of hits to our website, including recent visitors from Canada, the U.S., Sweden, Spain, Germany, Australia, France, Great Britain, Bulgaria, Burkina Faso, the Netherlands, and Norway. The word is starting to get out…
Lastly, and at the risk of losing you to sites that are far more interactive and trance-inducing than a mental health magazine's “coming soon” page, I direct your attention to the two funniest websies on the net: www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com and www.staregame.com. Go forth and have fun, but remember to check back here soon!
Since our unofficial “launch,” just a few short weeks ago, we've had over 42,000 hits from 10 countries (and counting!), including Canada, the U.S., Norway, Australia, Luxembourg, Great Britain, France, the Netherlands, Sweden, and Brazil!!! Submissions are starting to come in, inquiries are slowly comin' a knockin'…
On Friday October 28, we had a McGill University media class “go live” to the Irked website!! Apparently, the 40-odd students were each given an in-class Irked assignment that they'll be submitting. Thanks so much to Professor Anita Nowak and her class! See a course outline here.
Excitingly, our URL has been added to Psych Central – one of the Internet's largest psychology sites. Thanks to Dr. John M. Grohol for considering our site “worthy”! We are hoping this link will bring Irked a lot of traffic and submissions. Visit this page to vote for Irked and keep it “top rated” on Psych Central!
As of this writing, we are now searchable on Google, Yahoo, Alta Vista, MSN, Netscape, Clusty, AOL, A9, Teoma, Lycos, Ask Jeeves, Dogpile, Excite…
We've recently added a startling slideshow about suicide to our site. We're calling it our “Talking about it won't make it happen” campaign. There are some shocking statistics in it, and we urge you to check it out at: www.irkedmagazine.com/suicide_slideshow.htm.
Thank you all SO MUCH for visiting our site, for your encouraging emails, for your submissions, for your donations, for linking to us, and for so much more!
Don't forget to bookmark us by adding us to your favorite websites, and to check back often. We'll be updating the site frequently, adding new and exciting stuff (including a short Welcome-to-our-site documentary that we're working on!).
Please note that we are still actively looking to hire a web programmer who'll work from home. Visit our job opportunities page for more info and to apply.
I'll leave you with a line from an email I received from an old friend, Hal Newman, who edits the wonderful site http://www.bigmedicine.ca. He called Irked Magazine “a creative waterless brain sani-cleaner for pent-up anger.”
